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#11 Arlene Magid

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 09:22 AM

One problem I do have is when someone posts photos or videos of their horse and SPECIFICALLY asks for a critique, then accuses the respondents of cyberbullying if they do not praise the horse in question. It's fine to share photos and videos and I enjoy seeing them, but if you don't want anything but positive comments, don't ask for a critique! I was once harassed in PM by a member for my comment that a mating she proposed to do would give the resulting foal too many lines to Witraz. She told me I had destroyed a 20 year breeding program with that comment and kept sending me nastygrams for several weeks. I speak as I find, and she ASKED members here if she should do the mating. Both parents were heavily linebred to Witraz and displayed typical faults of such inbreeding and few of the virtues.
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#12 Lacinda

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 09:25 AM

Yes anything I say online is something I want to be on the record as they say :)

I stand by my words, even if sometimes they might come back to bite me in my little hiney!!


As for the policy, sounds good to me!!

Arlene, if I ever put up a photo and ASK for critique trust me I want critique....if I don't ask, a different story of course :)

Sorry you had a bad experience with that. I have seen it happen too.

(Myself, yes exactly, I have had to edit my own posts when I said something that really did not need to be said, and thought to myself "Gosh, I did not need to add that " As my husband would say when I do that in real life "Thank you Captain Obvious")
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#13 Ambar

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 01:54 PM

Ever heard of cyber bullying?

No thanks. Just not my cup of tea. If you cannot behave as a civil adult then there is an issue on the forefront to begin with.


I admit, I was startled by the Vicki Humphrey article in the free copy of AHT I was sent, which addressed cyber bullying, but with a tone and unstated assumption that it only applied to youth, not adults. Raise your hand if you've ever seen a post by someone you know to be a legal adult which still looked like the "before" of an anger management course. ;)

It's well understood among psychologists that people will type things into their computer screen, while alone in their home, that they would never say to the same audience face to face. (Abstract [link] -- the key phrase is "adult disinhibition")

Other things to take into account: the medium doesn't allow for tone of voice, body language, or facial expression, and these things carry far more of the freight of a face to face conversation than the words. We also don't necessarily know who writes English as a first language and who does not -- that's caused a bit of a kerfuffle on our sister board lately.

I think it all works a lot better when we assume good will on everyone else's part (at least until they prove otherwise).

"Each of us, no doubt, at one time or another has owned the best horse that ever looked through a bridle. I once owned a better one. Without taking time to prove it, I will simply admit it." -- Albert W Harris, "The Arabian Horse," The Horse, July-August 1944.

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#14 spiritthyme

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Posted 24 May 2011 - 05:40 AM

"the medium doesn't allow for tone of voice, body language, or facial expression, and these things carry far more of the freight of a face to face conversation than the words"

I have had that problem since I am generally TIC and have a sarcastic sense of humor, many times it has been lost on people who get defensive, I try to make light of heavy situations and since people can't SEE my expression they assume I'm being snarky :(

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#15 windridge

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Posted 24 May 2011 - 07:46 PM

I think it really varies. Some topics are just hot topics and will spark a more visceral response. I guess if someone is sensitive stay away from those topics. I personally like to see constructive criticism but it needs to be asked for-(ie please critique my photo or video) not take someones eblast or ad and use it to pick apart the horse or training- it has happened a couple times and IMHO is a pretty sleazy thing to do. However, while I love to hear different opinions (since that is a great way to learn or at least maybe look at things a little different) I think people need to use reasons to back up their opinions.

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#16 dowedoit

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Posted 24 May 2011 - 08:22 PM

I admit, I was startled by the Vicki Humphrey article in the free copy of AHT I was sent, which addressed cyber bullying, but with a tone and unstated assumption that it only applied to youth, not adults. Raise your hand if you've ever seen a post by someone you know to be a legal adult which still looked like the "before" of an anger management course. ;)

It's well understood among psychologists that people will type things into their computer screen, while alone in their home, that they would never say to the same audience face to face. (Abstract [link] -- the key phrase is "adult disinhibition")

Other things to take into account: the medium doesn't allow for tone of voice, body language, or facial expression, and these things carry far more of the freight of a face to face conversation than the words. We also don't necessarily know who writes English as a first language and who does not -- that's caused a bit of a kerfuffle on our sister board lately.

I think it all works a lot better when we assume good will on everyone else's part (at least until they prove otherwise).


Amber, it is for the reason you state - disinhinition - that I do not understand ABN's new policy allowing people to post negative comments without having to identify their "real" identity. If that is going to be the ABN policy henceforth, I am not sure I want to be a part of this community. No accountability leads to bad behavior - already evident on this forum since the new policy change.
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#17 SPRTHRS

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Posted 25 May 2011 - 03:40 AM

I admit, I was startled by the Vicki Humphrey article in the free copy of AHT I was sent, which addressed cyber bullying, but with a tone and unstated assumption that it only applied to youth, not adults. Raise your hand if you've ever seen a post by someone you know to be a legal adult which still looked like the "before" of an anger management course. ;)

It's well understood among psychologists that people will type things into their computer screen, while alone in their home, that they would never say to the same audience face to face. (Abstract [link] -- the key phrase is "adult disinhibition")

Other things to take into account: the medium doesn't allow for tone of voice, body language, or facial expression, and these things carry far more of the freight of a face to face conversation than the words. We also don't necessarily know who writes English as a first language and who does not -- that's caused a bit of a kerfuffle on our sister board lately.

I think it all works a lot better when we assume good will on everyone else's part (at least until they prove otherwise).


It is more common than we realize. Cyber bullying and cyber stalking happen every day to both adults and children. People think that they can hide behind a moniker or alias in the internet world, but with technology the way it is, they can't. Workers who have been fired from jobs do this to their former employers - it is unreal!

I like the psychologist's comment! Amen!!!

One of the reasons why I am a member of ABN is because most people are civil and don't mean any harm - it is a good place to be. Keep up the good work!
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#18 Lotus

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Posted 25 May 2011 - 05:57 AM

I have seen some amazingly rude and hurtful posts even when people post their names on forums. Sometimes they even seem proud of their posts and justify them.

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#19 tiki-bird

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Posted 25 May 2011 - 06:50 AM

No accountability leads to bad behavior - already evident on this forum since the new policy change.


I have seen on a couple threads an allusion to "the new policy." Could someone please direct me to where this was announced or posted? I would like to read the exact policy.
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#20 tamrie123

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Posted 25 May 2011 - 06:53 AM

Anonymity allows a person to be unaccountable and allows a person to disrupt and create an atmosphere filled with tension. A verified account holder is at least on the hook to people who know him/her in the real world. Pretending that it is OK to have anonymous person insult people takes away the credibility of this site.
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